"Happy Valentine's Day" Key to Philadelphia 2.12.07

“And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love
You make”

Believe what you will. According to ancient Christian text, three saints/priests who appeared at various times after the Common Era bore the name Valentine. Interesting? They all met premature deaths on the same day of the year they died in, February 14. Wild, yes?

Then there is the story that Chaucer, who many years later, connoted the religious text with love in one of his verses. Some believe this was the beginning of Valentines Day. Since that time, each culture has established a similar holiday held at different times of the year that requires some unfamiliar and weird festival antics.

In the United States, we have our own issues; the overt one is capitalism. Our republic has no equal to take a simple day and turn it into a moneymaker. Valentines Day, regardless of its murky past, has become a huge marketing event. I cannot view the TV, the internet, the papers, the billboards, the city stores without some reminder that February 14, 2007 is coming up shortly.

Hallmark Cards sells one billion valentine cards a year, the second busiest day after Christmas. Women buy eighty-five percent of them. Try to land a reservation at a restaurant on this day. Fuggetaboutit! Shows are busy, bars are busy, postal workers and UPS carriers are extremely busy. Victoria Secret is busy? (Who is that for and is this proper expression?)

Parents are busy buying their young children an inordinate amount of heart shape cards that their children will share with the class. Then there are those little candies, each a different color and each with a romantic note emblazoned into the sugar. The children are supposed to pass them out to their little friends, but it may be illegal this year. Trans-fat. I remember eating more of them than giving, but that is for another time (kids part with sugar as easily as politicians concede their point of view).

Once upon a time, we sent letters of our private thoughts to our sweethearts. Then giant companies in the Midwest hired thousands of recent college graduates to put cute sayings on cards that cost a minimum of five dollars. Now we can demonstrate our regard by buying perfume, candles, flowers, jewelry, clothes, chocolates, or a trip to the Bahamas at one of their all-inclusive resorts. Must we prove our love on this particular day, whether we are having an argument or one of us just found our partner in bed with someone else? In those cases, email is probably best (and save your receipt).

And what about the new demographics? Divorcees and singles make up a huge part of this population. What do they receive for Valentines Day? Bubkas. Life is not fair, but this particular festival is tough on them (as many holidays are tough on others). If this day is about love and or like, then why do we inflict this on the singles of the country? Although many singles may be quite content as they are.

Most of us spend more time suffering for amore than receiving it. And once we receive it, we suffer (I confirmed this with a Buddhist monk and my married friends). Therefore, I suggest that we institute a national ‘Day of Suffering.’ We will then appreciate the love we have or lost through this uncomfortable day. Remember, “They paved paradise, and put up a parking lot.”

Affection, friendship, ardor, passion does not need a special day. We do things for our mates because we care about them more than we do ourselves. Relationships demand comprises and a unique affinity between two people, not chocolate covered salted pretzels from Godiva. We need to demonstrate our feelings with words and kindness and respect, whether we are couples or singles. One day, pick a day, if you feel particularly tender, do something nice for another. That does not mean to give a city mendicant a dollar, but maybe he can use a little attention, or a shirt that you no longer wear.

“Scotty, Spock here. Beam Valentines Day and its commercial demands to the Klingons. It’s the only logical solution” Emotions should be free, and we should not spend dollars to prove it. And forget about that author who once wrote that ‘love is never having to say you’re sorry.’ Sorry is a very useful word in relationships. Anyway, that Erich Segal was not referring to people in general (or love); he was referring to attorneys when he wrote that line.

Kathy has read this valentines article. I believe she anticipates a diamond less hug or a kiss, but not a bushel and a peck. Maybe she expects some well thought out emotional word concoction from me. However, we never know when that little putto will pull the strings of his bow and release.